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Blog

Dear 20 Year Old You

Hey You,

I see you.

I see the woman you want to be. I know her. Parts of her still live within your 46 year old self.

Contemplating Life at 20

I know you think you’ve got it all figured out. How life should be. How love should be. What a relationship takes to be a “good one.” You have this crazy fairy tale idea of what it will be like when you meet the one, but I’m here today to tell you a few things.

You’ve got a lotta good things going for you. You don’t mind working hard. That’s good. Work ethic is what will carry you. Your creativity can spark an idea, but follow through, your word, and your work ethic is what will see the job done.

It’s good that you have committed to working while still in school. You know the value of a dollar and that means that you appreciate both the big and the small things that your parents do for you. You don’t take things for granted.

Beauty is skin deep

You’re beautiful. You just don’t know it. You’re self conscious and silly and don’t see what others do in you. It’s ok. Many people can’t see it in themselves, as well. But I want you to know that beauty is fleeting. People won’t be attracted so much to what’s on the outside, as they will when they see what’s on the inside. What drives you. What you’re passionate about. What you wanna see through, in this lifetime.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

I’m writing to you today to tell you to relax.

Do not take things so seriously. There will come a day when your kids will call you a “fun sponge.” That will hurt, but it will also be a wake up call. It will be your chance to show your kids that you CAN be fun. That you CAN be silly. That you CAN have fun with them and laugh till your sides hurt.

Contemplating what LOVE is means you figure out what it is NOT

I’m also writing to tell you that LOVE isn’t what you see in the movies. And it’s also not what you criticize your parents for. Nor what you compare your sister’s marriage to. It’s all of those things…and so much more.

It’s late night ice cream runs. And sleeping with your baby girl upright when she’s sick because she can’t breathe. It’s being spooned and comforted when you have a nightmare. It’s talking through your fears. It’s holding hands through the good times, and holding tighter through the bad times. It’s watching your kids shine with pride during school plays and performances. It’s looking over and seeing the love and admiration your husband has for his son during a Taekwondo tournament. It’s holding space for your daughter when her heart is broken for the first time. It’s being able to exhibit self restraint when your husband is combing Baby Girl’s hair to not do it over the way you would like it to be done.

Love is so many things

It’s butterflies and catching your breath when you finally meet the one.

And trusting that even through the hardship and heartache, that God will see you both through it and make you whole again..

It’s belly laughs, and painful tears. It’s disappointments that fade with time, but are overshadowed by success and breakthroughs. It’s remembering the good, forgiving the bad, and staying committed to your promises and vows, even when you feel lost.

Love is service

It’s chicken soup for when your kiddos are sick. And foot rubs when you’re mid-lifing and your body has changed immensely. It’s seeing the once little kids who used to play on the rug together, horsing around in the pool laughing, and then enjoying a glass of sangria with the family.

Love is holding on

Sometimes, it’s also holding your husband tight when life throws him a curve ball. It’s standing by his side and waiting for him to tell you, that he’s ready. It’s forgiving someone when they haven’t even asked for your forgiveness. It is knowing when to walk away from something that is too painful, and someday you will learn that it’s even easier when you hand that pain over to God.

Love is smiling through the tears

It’s smiling through the tears. And tearing when you’re happy.  It is embracing your partner’s flaws and understanding where you both came from, and how that shapes your understanding of this thing called LOVE.

Remaining THANKFUL

It’s Thanking God because He knew what He was doing. He knew what He was doing when He laid it all out for you…and those conversations with your sorority sisters where you contemplated free will, destiny, and believing that things will be as they were meant to be. It’s those same conversations with your sorority sisters who you have seen through their own heartaches and disappointments and this time questioning what love is while you have children, and husbands of your own.

Find your purpose

Life isn’t easy. By any means. What matters now is what you think of yourself, and how you use the talents that God has given you to achieve your purpose in this lifetime. We get one shot at it. Take the time to figure out what else you are good at and use it to help others. Starting with the students you want to teach when you graduate college is an awesome way to begin…you can only imagine where it will take you as you grow on in your years.

Always be KIND

Continue to be KIND.
Continue to ask questions.
But be quiet and wait for others to answer.
You will soon realize just how little you know, and how much more you have to learn.

That part of your life will never end. You will continue to learn. And it will be fun.

Remember You are BLESSED

But most of all, because you are so blessed?
You will experience LOVE in so many more ways that you could have ever imagined.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Liz says

    February 18, 2020 at 1:46 pm

    ❤️this! How authentic & beautifully written.

    • michelle says

      February 25, 2020 at 8:40 am

      Thank you!!! I feel like there is so much more I would like to say to my younger self. On parenting. On relationships. Girlfriends. and even ageing parents…perhaps middle age is giving me the reason to reflect?

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No school yesterday, means pajamas all day at Nina No school yesterday, means pajamas all day at Ninang’s place. I haven’t had the mind to work at all. I lost one of my sorority sisters earlier this week, and someone very dear to our family yesterday morning. I have been doing my best to focus on this little one, keeping her busy, and having mindful conversation with her. Reminding myself to stay present and grateful through this overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. I find myself having these little conversations through out the day with Jesus. Thanking Him for His sacrifice, and for the most meaningful Easter, I have had in a long time. I try not to question the loss and the pain that I know so many of our friends and family are suffering. But I’m human, and well, no one looks forward to loss 😔
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I keep coming back to the idea that there is purpose to the pain God allows for us. And the promise of something beautiful when we have lived a life where we do all we can, for His Glory. In this conversation I had with a Friend late last night, I shared this newfound understanding that recent events provided for me. It is through all of this loss that I have learned how grief and gratitude can both lighten and anchor my heart at the same time. That I can be grateful to have experienced the gifts of friendship and sisterhood yet grieving the loss of a human being who was luminous, generous, and Godly in everything she did. 
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And this little girl reminds me. Reminds me of His Grace. Of how precious each moment is. And how when she sees us full of sorrow, that we may need to dance. And we did that. We danced. We danced for @faithoverfearheal, prayed for everyone who has suffered loss in this very difficult season, and thanked Him for His Grace and His Love. 
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Even through the tremendous loss, I am reminded that God has a plan. And that there is a circle of life. Gelli and I celebrate Savi’s first birthday with his giveaway craft from @antspocketph that @sinfullysabrina sent out last month. We crafted, celebrated, and were able to remain thankful even through the most difficult of times. 🙏🏻🌹💙💛
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Remembering last week’s brunch that we enjoyed w Remembering last week’s brunch that we enjoyed while watching worship service. Pinwheel sausage from @santisdelicatessen @usblueberriesphl @realcaliforniamilkphl cheese @bountyfreshph eggs salted pretzels from @lartizan @hummingbirdspreads and @ilovewhisk jam was perfect with our ciabatta too. And because I realize that alcohol has been affecting my digestion lately, we switched over to a little sparkling @welchs_ph to add to our meal. 
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Read all the way to the END!!!
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@strongertogetherevent is a gathering of women from all around the globe sharing the triumphs and trials of their very special motherhood. We will come together because we know there is strength in numbers, in sharing, and how our stories are intertwined and intersectional. The raw gritty parts of motherhood, burnout, and the mountains we face can only be faced with our faith and women by are side who really “get” where we sit, stand, and fight for our children. Women who know that we sometimes struggle to own our own identities, and self care, too. Want to join the LIVE conversation? 
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Up for grabs is a total of 8 tickets to attend the LIVE event which will include panel discussions, talks from celebrated authors, and advocates in the differently abled community!!!!!There will be healing sessions, yoga classes, and talks on wellness and self care to help us navigate our motherhood in current times. I will announce the two winners on Friday, April 9th! Good Luck!!!
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Naked Sea Salt Chocolate Cake by @gi.aventajado fo Naked Sea Salt Chocolate Cake by @gi.aventajado for Easter Sunday. She has perfected this delicious recipe. From tweaking the cake to mastering the ganache, I think she has it down right perfect! 👌🏻❤️🍫
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Struffoli. • • • • Little chewy round bal Struffoli. 
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Little chewy round balls of fried dough coated in honey and rolled out with a hint of citrus, generously topped with rainbow non-perils.
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This sweet tower of dough would always come out after Christmas and Easter dinner with the Sambuca or the Grappa, when I was growing up. My mother’s table would have ham and Turkey, stuffing and pasta, eggplant and sweet potatoes. We would celebrate Easter Sunday together with my Titas and Titos, my Nana and my Lola, and all my cousins. My Dad would take his place at the head of the dining room table which was extended into the living room by saw horses and a make shift table top that he built for family gatherings when we had overflow. 
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Our gatherings are smaller now. But they are filled with so much more meaning. I was able to rest. Spend time in the kitchen with my best girls, break bread with my sister, face time my parents, and #BingeJesus by watching @thechosentvseries all afternoon with @manila.gent. 
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Christ is Risen!
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This is my Team. We are not perfect. But we belong This is my Team. We are not perfect. But we belong to each other. Thank you Lord for making it so. There are so many things happening in this world right now, that may not make sense without our faith. 
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Loss. Suffering. Pain. Sickness. And as the realities of the pandemic are giving us so many more reasons to be thankful, I am clinging to His promise. His Love. And the understanding that He has plans for us. So we will do our part, stay safe, and take this time to reflect while giving thanks, and being mindful. 
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Holy Week has never been so full of reflection as it is for me now. Praying for my friends, my family, our frontliners, and all of those affected by COVID19. 
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Perhaps the wisdom that comes with age and life experience in your faith, involves knowing and understanding that the extreme emotions of pain and loss, grieving and gratitude, joy and happiness CAN exist in the human heart all at the same time. Not taking any of His gifts for granted. 🙌🏻
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@bountyfreshph Chicken Fingers and Honey Mustard D @bountyfreshph Chicken Fingers and Honey Mustard Dip made by @migaventajado with ingredients care of our #Easter #Basket from @momzillaph. As March is coming to a close, I am thankful for all the women I have met because I started blogging who are passionate in their purpose. I am thankful for Best Buddies and the successful month of awareness activities we mounted with partners who believe in what we do. And I am thankful that my family is safe and sound. Stay safe IG Peeps. Stay Home. Stay grateful. 
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Praying for all of our friends and family who are struggling with this virus right now. My heart is breaking but I know we have a Big and Mighty God. He can move mountains. Make miracles. And raise Jesus from the dead.
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