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Advocate Education Nurture Parenting

#LikeaGirl

Years ago, I took a few Women’s Studies course in college. As part of my minor (otherwise known as my concentration) to receive my Elementary Education Degree, I needed to study courses in the African American Studies, Jewish American Studies and Women’s Studies Departments. I enjoyed all of the courses I took, as well as the people that I met through these classes in order to complete my Multicultural and Gender Studies requirement.

College opened my eyes up to a great many things, especially at a time when I was completely naive to the gender stereotypes that are so pervasive in the media. This stereotyping is evident even through the types of toys that are made and marketed for boys and girls. Through my women’s studies I learned how these stereotypes can affect the way a young girl looks at her body, the way her self esteem develops, and the way she is seen by her peers.

When I gave birth to Gia, I did my little part to fight gender stereotyping by choosing not to always dress her in pink and purple. It was my silent protest to the idea that “Girls wear pink and Boys wear blue.” In fact, I think much of the first two years of her life she wore red, white and blue, more than she wore any other color. (At that time it was all about Ralph Lauren and the Polo Bear, so it was easy to do this.) I think I realized that she started to favor the color pink by the time she was about five. I was “ok” with her liking pink, I just didn’t want to force it on her simply because she was a girl.

Fact: Her nursery was blue and yellow. Her big girl bedroom was sage green.

I now live in a country where we have had two female presidents. I have seen and met working women who have climbed the corporate ladder, and I have seen and met women who run small businesses out of their modest homes. I would like to think that because we have had two female presidents, because many women have been empowered to go to school, own their own businesses, and still have a family, that maybe we have somehow chipped away at some of the stereotypes that exist in a country where traditional roles of men and women are still alive and well.

 

 When this bit came out on Youtube awhile back it was for a start up company that was looking for funding to make 5000 engineering sets of toys for girls. The inventor behind the toys put everything she had into making the prototype because she wanted to make these toys for little girls like herself. She had always wished she had toys like these growing up.  

 

 And then recently, my friend Candy, shared this video with the Somoms and it got me to thinking even more.  As the mother of two daughters I want them to do lots of things #LikeAGirl…my challenge is, to make them realize that doing it #LikeAGirl is just as good or maybe even better than doing it any other way. Now, balance that with the fact that I’m a mother of two boys, and the challenge that arises is even more difficult in a society where “Boys don’t Cry.” 

I want my sons to know that it’s ok for them to be sensitive, and that they do not always have to carry the load and “Be a Man” in order to be seen as worthy. But I think that is a post for another day and another time.

How do you meet the challenge of raising your daughter(s) without perpetuating negative stereotypes? Please comment and share 🙂 I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when I get to learn and find inspiration from you!

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Comments

  1. Leira Bhagwani Pagaspas says

    July 28, 2014 at 8:14 am

    I feel you!! I feel the challenges of raising a girl and not getting pressured to buy into commercialism. Lalo na pagdating sa toys and clothing.. I always tell my daughter when we have to buy clothes color should not matter we have moved on from Pink and now my daughter likes blue and green.

    • michelle says

      July 28, 2014 at 8:46 am

      Diba Leira? I try to be aware not just of colors but even of the activities that the kids choose to get involved in. I want them to explore many different activities…not just ones that are typically for girls…or typically for boys…

  2. Techoy Lintag Tabujara says

    July 28, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Growing up, I always felt my brother got away with certain things. As I got older I realized it is a Pinoy thing, it’s in our culture. Why does he get to do this and I can’t? Answer was, Because he is a boy. And I’d say, So? Why can’t we be treated equal? So I vowed when I have kids of my own it’d be different. But since now I only have a daughter, I don’t have that to deal with that, but from a more worldly perspective now. I always tell Monica about women empowerment, that she should not rely on anyone (most women rely on men) to make her life better. If she wants to be successful in life, do it on her own, through hard work, patience & perseverance but without hurting nor destroying anyone. Although I tell her this, I also teach her not to let material things define who she is. It is not what you have, it is what you have become.

    • michelle says

      July 28, 2014 at 9:37 am

      Oh Tech. This is only one of the reasons why I value our friendship so much. I know that we think so much alike and in line with that we know the value of “Girl Power” and “Sisterhood.”

      • Techoy Lintag Tabujara says

        July 28, 2014 at 10:01 am

        Aww Mish, you know I feel the same way. See you next week sistah!

  3. manilamommy says

    July 31, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Kuya has a toy kitchen much to the amusement of his titos and he declares that he loves Sofia the First too which made someone in our family snigger. HELLO. When they ask why, I ask them back why not? It makes them realize how foolish their questions and reactions are.

    • michelle says

      August 1, 2014 at 8:37 am

      Good Morning Nevs,
      I find it so funny how the older generations have such rigid ideas of what is appropriate for boys and girls to play with. I wonder if we will be seen that way when we are older (and smarter) too? hahahaha.

  4. manilamommy says

    August 1, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    hahaha i know right. sometimes i catch myself making lola comments like “what are these guys wearing today?! why are their pants like that?! that’s the in thing now??!” wahahaha

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Creating food together is one of our love language Creating food together is one of our love languages. We flow in the kitchen. I get excited and move too fast, and she grounds me, and slows things down. We can move around one another while still staying in sync. In our own kitchen, there is music that guides us and sets the tone for the meal. Gelli would be in the mix, the boys will set the table, someone makes dessert, and maybe @manila.gent  makes a drink. 

When we prepare our table together there is so much that goes into the process and the ingredients. This mindful movement brings me so much joy when we are all together.

Even more so when we attend classes together to learn new dishes too.  @themayakitchen1 has regular classes offering cooks of all abilities to learn something new when preparing meals for for our families.

Check out my new article on @rappler for @kitchen143 where Gia and I learned from Chef @cocoyventura a few new Pinoy dishes that will definitely be on rotation for #TeamGellibean.

Link in my profile: 

https://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/food-drinks/kitchen-143-learning-lovelokal-the-maya-kitchens-cooking-classes/
Crispy Pata. Is there anything better than perfec Crispy Pata.

Is there anything better than perfectly brined crispy fried pork? 

@manila.gent and I visited @viicsrestaurantph for simple Pinoy fare that hit the spot. Admittedly, after moving here so many years ago, I took a while to warm up to this dish that is one of Nino’s (and my mom’s) favorites. But every once in a while-I won’t feel guilty about indulging in this deep fried treat.

Happy to learn that we can also order for when Mom arrives through @foodpanda_ph too!
The @admiralhotelmanila M-Gallery has opened their The @admiralhotelmanila M-Gallery has opened their doors! @manila.gent and I were privileged to visit the hotel on Friday night with some new friends and we were both so excited to explore some new digs in Manila.

Looking forward to bringing the family back soon!
We were a little early for therapy this morning, s We were a little early for therapy this morning, so @gelliaventajado got to spend a little time with @grace_loedin!

@thevanguardacademyph is still open for enrollment in their summer program, and has a full staff for all therapies and interventions. We really love her school and all of the faculty and staff. It makes a huge difference when you have confidence in the people you leave your child with for learning!
Whipped Feta #Recipe up on @kitchen143 over @rappl Whipped Feta #Recipe up on @kitchen143 over @rappler now!

Link in my profile!

https://www.rappler.com/nation/kitchen-143-dreaming-greece-try-making-easy-whipped-feta-dip/
Thinking about the day I got off the plane in LaGu Thinking about the day I got off the plane in LaGuardia, was picked up by one of my dearest friends and spent the entire day at the beach just catching up on LIFE.

It was a breezy day. Overcast. A little chilly to be in a suit, but it was perfect to catch up with my girl Candy. Sometimes, if you have chosen your friends well, you can pick up where you left off, as if no time has passed at all. 

Just like I did, sitting in that beach chair, feeling the mist of the Atlantic Ocean, and watching the seagulls pick and the seaweed.

Thank you Candy! For the friendship, for dropping everything to come and pick me up. Drive me around and have dinner with me and Fayth. 

Wishing I was sitting on this beach with you right now!!!
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From cornbread, to mom’s potato salad, melt in your mouth whisky cured short ribs, homemade sausages and more. This #BrunchBuffet had @manila.gent and I rolling each other out the door!

Hard to choose which was our favorite from the feast that was set before us!

Brunch is inclusive of some delicious drinks, some Southern smoked and BBQ Fare, and a most colorful sweet dessert buffet by way of Milkshake Bar!
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Summer Lovin’ ain’t over for #TeamGellibean. Hop on over to www.mommanmanila.com to read my full review on how easy this #homeprojector is to use when you want to watch your favorite family film!!

Gelli and I have watched Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Grease, and BTS Videos. Up next? The Sound of Music! 

Want to have your own #LUMOSRAYProjectoe delivered to your home? Stay tuned for an upcoming giveaway, too!

Link in my profile!

https://www.mommanmanila.com/lumos-ray-projector-review/
Missing my @migaventajado The short time I had w Missing my @migaventajado 

The short time I had with this guy in Florida was definitely something I will look back on. Wish we had more time to explore and do some fun things on our own.

Gah. How is this kid 20 years old already?
I remember when he was little and he loved peanut butter, chicken nuggets, Kylie Minogue, and sitting on my lap. He was squishy, in tune with my feelings, and I was always worried that he might have an asthma attack in his sleep so I would nebulize him every few hours. He always looked at new experiences with gratitude and wonder, much how he did while we were in FL together.😍

Praying he continues to strengthen his faith as he grows. 🙏🏻👨🏻🙌🏻

Miss you Miggy!
I’ll be sharing a little bit about my faith toda I’ll be sharing a little bit about my faith today with some university students. 

I have shared my testimony with other mommas, women in our community, and parents through this platform and others. It’s always come naturally and has often ended in tears of gratitude and joy for His faithfulness and unending LOVE. 

Of course, sharing parts of myself with others who may find it helpful is a privilege. But for some reason, I am always just a little bit anxious and apprehensive right before I am about to present parts of my story.

Perhaps today, I’m anxious because the format for how I will share is a bit different, I won’t have the comforts I have gotten used to since working from home. Instead I’ll print some cue cards for myself so I can stay on task and within my given time period. 

I love the opportunity this endeavor has given me, to reflect on His presence in my life. He’s been there all along, even if I didn’t know it. I love the understanding that I can have these intimate conversations with my Creator knowing that He has plans for me. He loves me. He knows all the hairs on my head. And that He knows what I need to fulfill my purpose.

This doesn’t mean I won’t have challenges, or times when I feel broken in my life and faith. In fact, there have been many times where my faith has faltered. All of it just means that He is fortifying me through each and every lesson. He is allowing me to create a greater understanding of who I am, where I am supposed to be, and how He will get me there.

Do you share parts of your faith here?
What does that look like?

#ThoughtfulThursday #faith #thoughtful 
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