Years ago, I took a few Women’s Studies course in college. As part of my minor (otherwise known as my concentration) to receive my Elementary Education Degree, I needed to study courses in the African American Studies, Jewish American Studies and Women’s Studies Departments. I enjoyed all of the courses I took, as well as the people that I met through these classes in order to complete my Multicultural and Gender Studies requirement.
College opened my eyes up to a great many things, especially at a time when I was completely naive to the gender stereotypes that are so pervasive in the media. This stereotyping is evident even through the types of toys that are made and marketed for boys and girls. Through my women’s studies I learned how these stereotypes can affect the way a young girl looks at her body, the way her self esteem develops, and the way she is seen by her peers.
When I gave birth to Gia, I did my little part to fight gender stereotyping by choosing not to always dress her in pink and purple. It was my silent protest to the idea that “Girls wear pink and Boys wear blue.” In fact, I think much of the first two years of her life she wore red, white and blue, more than she wore any other color. (At that time it was all about Ralph Lauren and the Polo Bear, so it was easy to do this.) I think I realized that she started to favor the color pink by the time she was about five. I was “ok” with her liking pink, I just didn’t want to force it on her simply because she was a girl.
Fact: Her nursery was blue and yellow. Her big girl bedroom was sage green.
I now live in a country where we have had two female presidents. I have seen and met working women who have climbed the corporate ladder, and I have seen and met women who run small businesses out of their modest homes. I would like to think that because we have had two female presidents, because many women have been empowered to go to school, own their own businesses, and still have a family, that maybe we have somehow chipped away at some of the stereotypes that exist in a country where traditional roles of men and women are still alive and well.
When this bit came out on Youtube awhile back it was for a start up company that was looking for funding to make 5000 engineering sets of toys for girls. The inventor behind the toys put everything she had into making the prototype because she wanted to make these toys for little girls like herself. She had always wished she had toys like these growing up.
And then recently, my friend Candy, shared this video with the Somoms and it got me to thinking even more. As the mother of two daughters I want them to do lots of things #LikeAGirl…my challenge is, to make them realize that doing it #LikeAGirl is just as good or maybe even better than doing it any other way. Now, balance that with the fact that I’m a mother of two boys, and the challenge that arises is even more difficult in a society where “Boys don’t Cry.”
I want my sons to know that it’s ok for them to be sensitive, and that they do not always have to carry the load and “Be a Man” in order to be seen as worthy. But I think that is a post for another day and another time.
How do you meet the challenge of raising your daughter(s) without perpetuating negative stereotypes? Please comment and share 🙂 I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when I get to learn and find inspiration from you!
I feel you!! I feel the challenges of raising a girl and not getting pressured to buy into commercialism. Lalo na pagdating sa toys and clothing.. I always tell my daughter when we have to buy clothes color should not matter we have moved on from Pink and now my daughter likes blue and green.
Diba Leira? I try to be aware not just of colors but even of the activities that the kids choose to get involved in. I want them to explore many different activities…not just ones that are typically for girls…or typically for boys…
Growing up, I always felt my brother got away with certain things. As I got older I realized it is a Pinoy thing, it’s in our culture. Why does he get to do this and I can’t? Answer was, Because he is a boy. And I’d say, So? Why can’t we be treated equal? So I vowed when I have kids of my own it’d be different. But since now I only have a daughter, I don’t have that to deal with that, but from a more worldly perspective now. I always tell Monica about women empowerment, that she should not rely on anyone (most women rely on men) to make her life better. If she wants to be successful in life, do it on her own, through hard work, patience & perseverance but without hurting nor destroying anyone. Although I tell her this, I also teach her not to let material things define who she is. It is not what you have, it is what you have become.
Oh Tech. This is only one of the reasons why I value our friendship so much. I know that we think so much alike and in line with that we know the value of “Girl Power” and “Sisterhood.”
Aww Mish, you know I feel the same way. See you next week sistah!
Kuya has a toy kitchen much to the amusement of his titos and he declares that he loves Sofia the First too which made someone in our family snigger. HELLO. When they ask why, I ask them back why not? It makes them realize how foolish their questions and reactions are.
Good Morning Nevs,
I find it so funny how the older generations have such rigid ideas of what is appropriate for boys and girls to play with. I wonder if we will be seen that way when we are older (and smarter) too? hahahaha.
hahaha i know right. sometimes i catch myself making lola comments like “what are these guys wearing today?! why are their pants like that?! that’s the in thing now??!” wahahaha