I have always tried to spend some one on one time with my each of my kids. I have always known the importance of this precious time we may have together, but truth be told, I have to work really hard to make sure it happens. Recently during one of our Better Me sessions for the SoMoms, Coach Pia reminded me just how important this one on one time with your child really is.
Coach Pia reiterated the importance of having an activity with your child that he or she likes and letting them take the lead in doing so.
Last Friday my son asked me to go out for some one on one time. I actually had so many things I needed to write, submit, and tend to…all of which required me to sit in front of the laptop, but when he came into my office early that morning with his special request to visit Project Pie with me, I could not say no. I did however, ask him since Project Pie is always so busy during the regular lunch hours if we could perhaps have a late lunch or even heavy merienda together instead of going at 12nn when I knew the line would be out the door.
By about 3pm he was already reminding me that we should get going and since his baby sister was sleeping, his brother was their Dad, and his Ate was at a friend’s house doing a project, we didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving anyone behind.
While we were waiting for our pizza, I was tweeting, checking emails, and posting on Instagram, when Miggy reminded me that this was “our time” together and that he left his phone at home so that we could talk. I quietly put my phone away (after one super proud IG post) and remembered the entire reason why we left the house to begin with…to spend time together.
I asked him how he felt that he was done with school, if he felt good about all of the projects he had submitted this week, and he shared that he was so happy to have submitted his projects on time. (He even submitted some earlier than they were due!)
While we were talking, I remembered something that Coach Pia had advised us to do when we were out with our kids. She said to “Be Quiet.” So, I stopped asking so many questions and let Miguel lead the conversation where he wanted it to go.
It was refreshing. I learned a lot about my son, about some of the things his friends are doing (or not doing) and his thoughts about all of it. I realized how much more my kids KNOW than I knew at their ages, and I’m not so sure if it’s because I’m their parent, or because of social media and the movies they watch, or because it’s 2014 and that’s just the way it is.
I listened. I really listened. He told me some of his jokes, shared some new riddles, and laughed when I couldn’t get the answers. We had a good chuckle, took a walk, and then did a little shopping. I already bought new lunchboxes for next year, keeping in mind that I want to better my lunch box packing by maybe mixing in some charabens, so I figured I should get some smaller Lock & Locks which would make it easier for me to pack.
I didn’t get much done that particular day in terms of writing or catching up on research that I needed to finish, and deadlines that needed to be met. But I did do one of the most important jobs I know I need to do. I listened when my son spoke. I tuned out all the other noise and made sure that I was present for him. He asked me to be, and so I was.
And it felt really good.
What do you like to do with your kids when you spend one on one time with them?