There is always this hope that starts me off with the beginning of a NEW YEAR.
November is gratitude filled.
December is the time for giving.
January is time to get cracking!
Meaning, it’s time to organize. Time to purge (again) what we don’t need and pass on to others that do. Time to reevaluate. Time to set new goals. Time to try again with a new hope to do everything better. This is the time I complete my vision board for the year. It’s the time I get my kids ready for their last trimester of school and we even set goals together (the same way we set goals for their school year) for their summer. Whether it’s finishing a book that they would like to read, enrolling in a new activity that they would like to try or just being more mindful at taking care of certain things around the house.
So far, my goal of being more mindful in the lunches that I pack for my kids is working out. So far, my goal of slowly organizing all the cabinets in the house is coming along…albeit slowly but surely.
BUT in all honesty, I can’t do it all. And sometimes, (like yesterday) I feel overwhelmed.
Yesterday was on one of those days where I had a long laundry list of responsibilities to attend to in addition to taking care of the kids. Sometimes, I bite off a little more than I can chew, and that’s when I realize that in the end, (because I couldn’t say “No.”) something ends up giving…
You have heard of that saying that “Something’s gotta give?”
After meeting with my son’s homeroom teacher where she presented some of the challenges that my son was enduring in his science class, I realized that I had failed him somehow…
I realized that because I had once again, spread myself a little too thin in everything that I wanted to do, that I hadn’t paid enough attention to his studies. He is struggling and needs help in certain parts of his academic career and I had fallen short in assisting him. I know that every one of my four children is different, but I had thought that we were “good” on the whole “instilling the study habits,” that I know he needs to succeed in school. He’s in seventh grade after all, and I had sat with him to do his homework for the previous years, hired a tutor for his Filipino studies and I THOUGHT we were good…
So-while I think I do an ok job of making sure that the kids are eating well, they are dressed and bathed and getting what they need emotionally, my son showed me that my activities that have been bringing me out of the house (which don’t allow me to sit down and do homework with him anymore) are affecting my ability to still stay on top of his studies with him.
What makes it difficult for me and my husband is the fact that our son just doesn’t see that his lack of interest in his school work will directly affect his future. Breaking it down simply for him by saying he needs good grades to get in to a good school, and he needs to graduate from a good school to get a decent job, and he needs to have a decent job to earn decent money, which will eventually provide for the future family that he has made reference to-JUST isn’t enough.
He has made reference to the fact that he wants to know how to cook so that his wife doesn’t have to do everything, and that he wants to have a boy and girl when it comes time for his children to be born. He has also said that he wants to live (at some point) in the United States because he misses it there.
So-as much as he makes reference to these things…why is it so difficult for him to understand that he is building the base of that life…NOW…in the seventh grade? That his grades are in direct correlation to the future he will build for himself…
Am I over reacting? Of course, I always weigh all of these issues in parenting…I try my best to think things through (after I have calmed down) and am ready to explain yet again, about the importance of doing your best in EVERYTHING you do…(not just video games) is vital to succeeding.
But sometimes…it’s just really hard to balance…And because I’m a Libra…and someone who practices yoga, we all know that I’m always trying to achieve that PERFECT balance…
What works for you? How do you do it all?
Working Mommas: How do you manage? I’m new to dividing my time between work and home so, any tips and tricks you might share will be of great service to me…(and my heart.)
First Wives Club (@nappyKAYE) says
Mish, I have the same problem. I am overwhelmed everyday. There are days when you really have to CHOOSE to throw that list away. The tasks never end, but the kids grow up way too fast.
It really is all about choices. You are right. At this point, I just need to focus on my son’s strengths and continue to encourage him to do and be more. I suppose it’s all about putting it in perspective too.
Hey-I saw your post recently on FB! Hope you feel better soon and that you don’t have to have a soft food diet for too long 🙁
Looking forward to our future Bento workshop! Let’s start planning!
grech racal (@grechie20) says
hi! I so love this post. I have 3 girls, 2 pre-teens and a 7 year old. It is difficult for me when my youngest was still a baby. My girls were then having low grades and they were thinking that I “neglected” them because of the youngest. It took me a while to really find that “balance”. Every day I have to explain to them that the youngest needs me the “most” cause she was the baby of the family. I am so thankful to God that I was able to find ways here and there on how to have that “parenting balance” among my 3 girls. You’re DEFINITELY right that each of our kids have “different” needs, weakness and strengths and we have to see what are these and from there, we could do some adjustments. My eldest daughter loves to read and write, so she is making this story at WATTPAD and she said mom I just published it. I am so happy for her. My second, loves to paint and do some art stuff so, if I have a budget, I usually buy the things she needs or wants. And my youngest loves to play, as in. hahaha! Every day is a lesson for the parent as well as for the kids. And I ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell my girls that EDUCATION is really important for them to achieve their dreams, cause as a parent, I know we could do so much… Nice post again.. Love this…
Thanks Grech for stopping by.
I have one teen and one tween before my two little ones. I’m starting to understand what it means to raise a teenager and I know I’m at the cusp of yet another new parenting adventure. This I welcome…it means they are growing and hopefully, so am I.
It’s sounds like you are doing a great job of encouraging all your girls’ strengths. I hope I can do the same for all of my kids as well.
I guess I just wish it would be easier for my son to apply himself. Of course, I think he’s brilliant…I’m his mom. But I guess he’s already reached that stage where he thinks he knows more than me? And that includes that he thinks he doesn’t need good grades in certain subjects that might seem challenging?
The other thing is-science used to be one of his best subjects. So-how is it that he’s doing so terribly this year in one of his favorite classes?
I’m sure we will work it out together, but knowing that I’m not the only one struggling sometimes with the balancing act makes it a little easier for me. I don’t need I beat myself up about…I just need to keep at it for each of my kids.
Thanks for sharing Grech!
maybe migs has outgrown his love of the subject? are there any subjects that he’s shown more interest now? it can be used as a compromise — for him to enjoy more of what he wants know he must put in extra effort on those that bore him but are just as important.
i know easier said than done. david’s just entering big school this year (oh lord help me)