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Nurture Parenting

Parenting-Achieving a Healthy Balance

There is always this hope that starts me off with the beginning of a NEW YEAR.

Our family on NYE. It's our tradition to spend NYE with the Aventajado side of the family in a simple celebration at home. We try to balance it every year by alternating the holiday with the Ressa side too. Again-always trying to achieve that balance in life...

Our family on NYE. It’s our tradition to spend NYE with the Aventajado side of the family in a simple celebration at home. We try to balance it every year by alternating the holiday with the Ressa side too. Again-always trying to achieve that balance even in holiday celebrations…

November is gratitude filled.

December is the time for giving.

January is time to get cracking!

Meaning, it’s time to organize. Time to purge (again) what we don’t need and pass on to others that do. Time to reevaluate. Time to set new goals. Time to try again with a new hope to do everything better. This is the time I complete my vision board for the year. It’s the time I get my kids ready for their last trimester of school and we even set goals together (the same way we set goals for their school year) for their summer. Whether it’s finishing a book that they would like to read, enrolling in a new activity that they would like to try or just being more mindful at taking care of certain things around the house.

So far, my goal of being more mindful in the lunches that I pack for my kids is working out. So far, my goal of slowly organizing all the cabinets in the house is coming along…albeit slowly but surely.

BUT in all honesty, I can’t do it all. And sometimes, (like yesterday) I feel overwhelmed.

Yesterday was on one of those days where I had a long laundry list of responsibilities to attend to in addition to taking care of the kids. Sometimes, I bite off a little more than I can chew, and that’s when I realize that in the end, (because I couldn’t say “No.”)  something ends up giving…

You have heard of that saying that “Something’s gotta give?”

After meeting with my son’s homeroom teacher where she presented some of the challenges that my son was enduring in his science class, I realized that I had failed him somehow…

I realized that because I had once again, spread myself a little too thin in everything that I wanted to do, that I hadn’t paid enough attention to his studies. He is struggling and needs help in certain parts of his academic career and I had fallen short in assisting him. I know that every one of my four children is different, but I had thought that we were “good” on the whole “instilling the study habits,” that I know he needs to succeed in school. He’s in seventh grade after all, and I had sat with him to do his homework for the previous years, hired a tutor for his Filipino studies and I THOUGHT we were good…

Apparently not.

So-while I think I do an ok job of making sure that the kids are eating well, they are dressed and bathed and getting what they need emotionally, my son showed me that my activities that have been bringing me out of the house (which don’t allow me to sit down and do homework with him anymore) are affecting my ability to still stay on top of his studies with him.

What makes it difficult for me and my husband is the fact that our son just doesn’t see that his lack of interest in his school work will directly affect his future. Breaking it down simply for him by saying he needs good grades to get in to a good school, and he needs to graduate from a good school to get a decent job, and he needs to have a decent job to earn decent money, which will eventually provide for the future family that he has made reference to-JUST isn’t enough.

He has made reference to the fact that he wants to know how to cook so that his wife doesn’t have to do everything, and that he wants to have a boy and girl when it comes time for his children to be born. He has also said that he wants to live (at some point) in the United States because he misses it there.

So-as much as he makes reference to these things…why is it so difficult for him to understand that he is building the base of that life…NOW…in the seventh grade?  That his grades are in direct correlation to the future he will build for himself…

 

When Miggy was a toddler, my dad shared with me that there was a distinct difference in raising boys and girls. I did my best to read up on some parenting books for boys...maybe I should go back to the books for a bit...

When Miggy was a toddler, my dad shared with me that there was a distinct difference in raising boys and girls. I did my best to read up on some parenting books for boys…maybe I should go back to the books for a bit…

Am I over reacting? Of course, I always weigh all of these issues in parenting…I try my best to think things through (after I have calmed down) and am ready to explain yet again, about the importance of doing your best in EVERYTHING you do…(not just video games) is vital to succeeding.

But sometimes…it’s just really hard to balance…And because I’m a Libra…and someone who practices yoga, we all know that I’m always trying to achieve that PERFECT balance…

What works for you? How do you do it all?

Working Mommas: How do you manage? I’m new to dividing my time between work and home so, any tips and tricks you might share will be of great service to me…(and my heart.)

 

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Comments

  1. First Wives Club (@nappyKAYE) says

    January 8, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Mish, I have the same problem. I am overwhelmed everyday. There are days when you really have to CHOOSE to throw that list away. The tasks never end, but the kids grow up way too fast.

    • michelle says

      January 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      Thanks Kaye.

      It really is all about choices. You are right. At this point, I just need to focus on my son’s strengths and continue to encourage him to do and be more. I suppose it’s all about putting it in perspective too.

      Hey-I saw your post recently on FB! Hope you feel better soon and that you don’t have to have a soft food diet for too long 🙁

      Looking forward to our future Bento workshop! Let’s start planning!

  2. grech racal (@grechie20) says

    January 8, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    hi! I so love this post. I have 3 girls, 2 pre-teens and a 7 year old. It is difficult for me when my youngest was still a baby. My girls were then having low grades and they were thinking that I “neglected” them because of the youngest. It took me a while to really find that “balance”. Every day I have to explain to them that the youngest needs me the “most” cause she was the baby of the family. I am so thankful to God that I was able to find ways here and there on how to have that “parenting balance” among my 3 girls. You’re DEFINITELY right that each of our kids have “different” needs, weakness and strengths and we have to see what are these and from there, we could do some adjustments. My eldest daughter loves to read and write, so she is making this story at WATTPAD and she said mom I just published it. I am so happy for her. My second, loves to paint and do some art stuff so, if I have a budget, I usually buy the things she needs or wants. And my youngest loves to play, as in. hahaha! Every day is a lesson for the parent as well as for the kids. And I ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell my girls that EDUCATION is really important for them to achieve their dreams, cause as a parent, I know we could do so much… Nice post again.. Love this…

    • michelle says

      January 8, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      Thanks Grech for stopping by.

      I have one teen and one tween before my two little ones. I’m starting to understand what it means to raise a teenager and I know I’m at the cusp of yet another new parenting adventure. This I welcome…it means they are growing and hopefully, so am I.

      It’s sounds like you are doing a great job of encouraging all your girls’ strengths. I hope I can do the same for all of my kids as well.

      I guess I just wish it would be easier for my son to apply himself. Of course, I think he’s brilliant…I’m his mom. But I guess he’s already reached that stage where he thinks he knows more than me? And that includes that he thinks he doesn’t need good grades in certain subjects that might seem challenging?

      The other thing is-science used to be one of his best subjects. So-how is it that he’s doing so terribly this year in one of his favorite classes?

      I’m sure we will work it out together, but knowing that I’m not the only one struggling sometimes with the balancing act makes it a little easier for me. I don’t need I beat myself up about…I just need to keep at it for each of my kids.

      Thanks for sharing Grech!

  3. manilamommy says

    January 8, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    maybe migs has outgrown his love of the subject? are there any subjects that he’s shown more interest now? it can be used as a compromise — for him to enjoy more of what he wants know he must put in extra effort on those that bore him but are just as important.

    i know easier said than done. david’s just entering big school this year (oh lord help me)

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Waterside @solaireresort’s BBQ Brunch Buffet has Waterside @solaireresort’s BBQ Brunch Buffet has all the southern fixings and more.

Grilled and smoked meats. Seafood and mixed drinks. Fried chicken and fish and chips. Starters include fresh salads, corn bread, nachos and more. But the kicker comes in the form of a Make Your Own Milkshake bar, and YES, you can order it spiked with your favorite liquor! 

Waterside is only one of quite a few restaurants that you can enjoy  beautiful weekend brunches with your favorite person, the fam bam, or your friends. 

Check out www.mommanmanila.com to see the full menu and what Nino and I enjoyed most.
Creating food together is one of our love language Creating food together is one of our love languages. We flow in the kitchen. I get excited and move too fast, and she grounds me, and slows things down. We can move around one another while still staying in sync. In our own kitchen, there is music that guides us and sets the tone for the meal. Gelli would be in the mix, the boys will set the table, someone makes dessert, and maybe @manila.gent  makes a drink. 

When we prepare our table together there is so much that goes into the process and the ingredients. This mindful movement brings me so much joy when we are all together.

Even more so when we attend classes together to learn new dishes too.  @themayakitchen1 has regular classes offering cooks of all abilities to learn something new when preparing meals for for our families.

Check out my new article on @rappler for @kitchen143 where Gia and I learned from Chef @cocoyventura a few new Pinoy dishes that will definitely be on rotation for #TeamGellibean.

Link in my profile: 

https://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/food-drinks/kitchen-143-learning-lovelokal-the-maya-kitchens-cooking-classes/
Crispy Pata. Is there anything better than perfec Crispy Pata.

Is there anything better than perfectly brined crispy fried pork? 

@manila.gent and I visited @viicsrestaurantph for simple Pinoy fare that hit the spot. Admittedly, after moving here so many years ago, I took a while to warm up to this dish that is one of Nino’s (and my mom’s) favorites. But every once in a while-I won’t feel guilty about indulging in this deep fried treat.

Happy to learn that we can also order for when Mom arrives through @foodpanda_ph too!
The @admiralhotelmanila M-Gallery has opened their The @admiralhotelmanila M-Gallery has opened their doors! @manila.gent and I were privileged to visit the hotel on Friday night with some new friends and we were both so excited to explore some new digs in Manila.

Looking forward to bringing the family back soon!
We were a little early for therapy this morning, s We were a little early for therapy this morning, so @gelliaventajado got to spend a little time with @grace_loedin!

@thevanguardacademyph is still open for enrollment in their summer program, and has a full staff for all therapies and interventions. We really love her school and all of the faculty and staff. It makes a huge difference when you have confidence in the people you leave your child with for learning!
Whipped Feta #Recipe up on @kitchen143 over @rappl Whipped Feta #Recipe up on @kitchen143 over @rappler now!

Link in my profile!

https://www.rappler.com/nation/kitchen-143-dreaming-greece-try-making-easy-whipped-feta-dip/
Thinking about the day I got off the plane in LaGu Thinking about the day I got off the plane in LaGuardia, was picked up by one of my dearest friends and spent the entire day at the beach just catching up on LIFE.

It was a breezy day. Overcast. A little chilly to be in a suit, but it was perfect to catch up with my girl Candy. Sometimes, if you have chosen your friends well, you can pick up where you left off, as if no time has passed at all. 

Just like I did, sitting in that beach chair, feeling the mist of the Atlantic Ocean, and watching the seagulls pick and the seaweed.

Thank you Candy! For the friendship, for dropping everything to come and pick me up. Drive me around and have dinner with me and Fayth. 

Wishing I was sitting on this beach with you right now!!!
Eggs Benny with BBQ Pulled Pork was just one of ma Eggs Benny with BBQ Pulled Pork was just one of many dishes that we enjoyed during #SundayBrunch at Waterside in @solaireresort .

From cornbread, to mom’s potato salad, melt in your mouth whisky cured short ribs, homemade sausages and more. This #BrunchBuffet had @manila.gent and I rolling each other out the door!

Hard to choose which was our favorite from the feast that was set before us!

Brunch is inclusive of some delicious drinks, some Southern smoked and BBQ Fare, and a most colorful sweet dessert buffet by way of Milkshake Bar!
Movie Night at home with the big screen made easy Movie Night at home with the big screen made easy by @lumosprojector_ph!

Summer Lovin’ ain’t over for #TeamGellibean. Hop on over to www.mommanmanila.com to read my full review on how easy this #homeprojector is to use when you want to watch your favorite family film!!

Gelli and I have watched Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Grease, and BTS Videos. Up next? The Sound of Music! 

Want to have your own #LUMOSRAYProjectoe delivered to your home? Stay tuned for an upcoming giveaway, too!

Link in my profile!

https://www.mommanmanila.com/lumos-ray-projector-review/
Missing my @migaventajado The short time I had w Missing my @migaventajado 

The short time I had with this guy in Florida was definitely something I will look back on. Wish we had more time to explore and do some fun things on our own.

Gah. How is this kid 20 years old already?
I remember when he was little and he loved peanut butter, chicken nuggets, Kylie Minogue, and sitting on my lap. He was squishy, in tune with my feelings, and I was always worried that he might have an asthma attack in his sleep so I would nebulize him every few hours. He always looked at new experiences with gratitude and wonder, much how he did while we were in FL together.😍

Praying he continues to strengthen his faith as he grows. 🙏🏻👨🏻🙌🏻

Miss you Miggy!
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