Super Moms need Super Friends

There are lots of labels for parents. Helicopter parents, Tiger moms, single parents, SuperMoms, Working Moms, Hipsters, Crunchy Moms, Wolf Dads, Panda Dads, Lawnmower parents, Free Range parents, Attachment parents, or even Dragon moms are the labels that have been trending recently. There was a time when we were just parents…it wasn’t that long ago, but for some reason parenthood has been taken a step further to include these labels which differentiate us from one another.

Truth be told, I don’t know if I even like these labels. I think we are all in this together, somehow labeling ourselves or others somehow creates a divide…

I’ve been called a SUPER MOM a few times in my life, but I really don’t FEEL like a Super Mom. I know that people mean it as a compliment, when they label me, and that from where they stand I look like I have it all together. I’m managing the house, taking care of the kids, their nutrition and their schooling, while balancing my relationship with my husband, my family, my in-laws and my (late blooming) career.

To be honest, most of the time, I feel like I’m chasing the clock, trying really hard, and then sometimes-wishing that I could some how cut myself in two so I could be in two different places at once. I think the feeling I dislike the most is when I fall short of my own expectations. (Of course, we are our own worst critics.) You know that feeling you sometimes get, when you realize you may or may not have forgotten something that was totally important to your kid?

Between balancing all of my responsibilities, taking time to take care for myself, and taking time to nurture each of the relationships that are dear to me, often times I feel something is being left out, forgotten, or overlooked. Just the other day, a co-parent asked me if I sent in my son’s baby picture for the yearbook. I had no idea I HAD to send it in! So, just like that, when she asked me, I ran through all these checklists in my head…did I see a parent note and not read it thoroughly? Did he tell me and I wasn’t present, so I didn’t hear it? Was it in an email or the home notes that I somehow missed? And so now-I have to scramble and see if I can submit his baby picture for him to still be included in the yearbook. What’s worse is that feeling that it would be MY fault if my kids’ are somehow short changed, left out, or picked on because I’m spreading myself too thin and not doing right by their needs.

In the most recent SoMoms #betterme #session with Coach Pia, we discussed “The Art of Co-Parenting: Raising a Child as a Team.” This session was generously sponsored by Philips Avent and as a Trusted Mom, I was able to attend.

Nino and I try to be the best parents we can be. We remind each other to be mindful with our language, our intentions, and our expectations for our children. If I am going to own the Super Mom label in this post, I can’t do it without the help of my partner, my kids’ Super Dad. Raising children is really hard. As Coach Pia points out, there are many things we must realize about ourselves if we are going to strive to be the best parents we can be. Identifying our own core issues can help us be better partners. If our children see that we have a healthy relationship, it sets the tone for our relationships with each one of them. It also sets the example of what they believe a relationship should be, for in the future if they have partners of their own, they can end up emulating our relationship to some extent. So this means that we can be better PARENTS to our children if we are better partners to our spouses. Makes sense, right?

 

According to Coach Pia, in order for us to improve upon our relationship, we must commit to a willingness to maintain and develop trust, to continuously learn about each other, to communicate, cooperate, adapt, let go, and sacrifice for the sake of our partners to grow as individuals. In turn, working on these characteristics of our own relationship, enables us to build healthier relationships with our children.

Coach Pia has given the SoMoms strategies and concrete ways to improve our relationships with our children, lest we forget because we are caught up in the daily grind. So-this is where my “Super Friends” come into the picture. These are the women I look to when the chaos is just too much. They can relate, they can help carry the load, they can pitch in when they see me completely off kilter. Sometimes, they might just be on the other end of the phone when I feel it’s too much to bear, and I need to vent. I can attach a label it for you if you want: These are the women that are my support network. They are the women (and sometimes men) who help me do my job, and most of the time, they help me do my job better.

If Nino and I are a “TEAM,” in our co-parenting, my Super Friends are like my back up singers, in a band, and I’m the lead-singing lullabies about how to live life to my kids. As I’ve grown older, my support network has expanded to include members of my family, childhood friends, college sorority sisters, co-leaders to my girl scouts, co-parents in my children’s school, moms who live near by in the village where I reside, my Reiki group, and now most recently the SoMoms (& SoDad) and Coach Pia. How lucky am I, that I benefit from the experience of all of these people who are willing to share themselves with me and my children!

Many of the activities we participate in together, have a positive impact on our lives, our parenting, our relationships, our businesses and our happiness. We inspire one another. We support one another. One activity that we all look forward to is our #sessions with Coach Pia.

I’m so thankful that Philips Avent sponsored our SoMoms #session with Coach Pia. I really look forward to our sessions because I feel like a better person after each one. I feel like a better mom, a better wife, a better friend and daughter. Our sessions with Coach Pia enable me to assess where I can improve in my life, and how I can further my own happiness without feeling selfish or guilty about taking time for myself. If I can say that I practice yoga to achieve balance in life, attending just a few sessions with Coach Pia has already improved my chances in achieving that balance.   

Philips AVENT is a really great example of how moms’ jobs can be be made easier with the help of quality products. A faithful AVENT user since my first child was born, I was pleased to be asked to represent the brand as a Trusted Mom. From breast pumps, to bottles and later feeding sets, they have helped me nurture my children and foster independence in feeding as well. I will write more about the feeding set that we were all gifted by Philips AVENT during our session.

Another sponsor for our #betterme #session was Babyland. They have this new venue upstairs in their Shaw Blvd. location which seemed perfect for baby showers, small parties, and gatherings. There was even a cute little play area for the kids.

Mere Et Bebe took care of our lunch and gifted us with some adorable treats for our kiddos. You can find there super soft cottony Luvable Friends line in Landmark, Babyland, and Baby Company.