• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Momma 'N Manila

Growing through parenting

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Nourish
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Desserts
    • Cheers
    • Guest Recipes
  • Advocate
    • Autism
    • Best Buddies
    • Down Syndrome
    • Special Needs
  • Gather
    • Crafternoons
    • Entertaining at Home
    • Events
    • Mothers Who Brunch
    • DIY
  • Review
    • 4 KIDS
    • Dining
    • Travel
    • Home & Hearth
    • Health & Beauty
    • Giveaways
    • Fashion
  • Nurture
    • Education
    • Parenting
    • Relationships
    • Yoga
  • MWB

Relationships Travel

5 Ways to Connect with Your Husband

Being married is hard.

It’s really hard.

No one tells you just how hard it is when you are planning your wedding. No one tells you just how much you will end up giving up of yourself when you are picking table arrangements, choosing your wedding dress, or writing your vows.

14457376_1084390744930968_7331924528066330446_n-copy

I’m so lucky to have my sisters. But I’m also lucky to have a brother in my sister’s husband as well.

I thought I had an idea of just how difficult marriage and parenting could be. I saw my older sister get married and tie the knot with the love her of her life before me. I thought I understood the sacrifices that my parents made while raising the five of us. I thought I knew what it takes to hold it all together because my parents made it look easy.

img_2055-copy

circa 1985

They loved each other after all, right?

img_2063-copy

Mom and Dad at Copacabana.

Well, 18 years into marriage (and heading full steam ahead into our 19th year as husband and wife) I realize there are some secrets to staying connected, to communicate effectively, and keeping the fire burning for my partner, as we navigate this thing called life.

sc17

Photo Credit: Sheila Catilo

This year has been tough on our marriage, and it’s taken a lot of effort on both of our parts to keep it all together. While, we have never lacked for love, we have let some things slide a little because the stresses of family, work, and our daily responsibilities that have distracted us from the most important relationship we will nurture.

I have been wanting to connect with my husband again. So when the opportunity presented itself for a quick get away to one of my favorite places (and one of the most beautiful beaches in the world) I seized it.

The first time we went away to Boracay as a couple was almost 20 years ago. Nino and I went to Boracay with his family. We were engaged, but not yet married.We didn’t have kids.

Since then, we have been to Boracay several times with my sister, Maria, and our family, but since that first trip, Nino and I have not been able to visit the world’s most beautiful beach as a couple, again.

img_3985-copy

Photo Credit: Sheila Catilo

Part of this is because life got hold of us.
Part of this is because we would rather take the time and spend the money on doing fun things with the kids, instead.
Part of this because sometimes we just need an excuse.

This is where I remind myself that there is no excuse for not nurturing my relationship with my husband. I have learned that the work we put in to our relationship as a couple should be first and foremost on our list of things to do. In other words, we should NOT be looking for an excuse to work on us, or to make time for us. 

dscf3258-copy

So, the excuse that I mentioned earlier? It was the opportunity for me to surprise Nino earlier last week, with a quick get away. We were invited to check out my friend, Claudette’s, new boutique hotel that she had been telling me about through some of our online conversations. 

12219569_899609200123178_5899008418585176973_n-copy

Photo Credit: Sol y Sombra

I was intrigued when my friend Claudette told me about one of her newest endeavors. I was intrigued when I saw her posts on social media of tastefully yet minimally decorated rooms, which looked comfy, modern, and inviting. I searched her Instagram photos and they had me feeling like it might be time for a dose of some Vitamin Sea.

 

If #MyLife can be set to a soundtrack, this is one of my favorite songs. #PowerOfTwo @manila.gent I love that we “Multiply Life by the Power of Two.” #itsmorefuninthephilippines #boracay #boracayhotel #bedandbreakfast #boutiquehotel #solysombraph #paddleboard #watersports #coupletime #marriagefirst #indigogirls #instatravel #instagood #travelgram #instafun #instafitness #instagram

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Michelle Aventajado (@mommanmanila) on Dec 1, 2016 at 8:59pm PST

Because we had this time alone together, I got to thinking. I got to thinking about how I wrote this post awhile back about 5 Things Your Kids Should See in your Marriage. I have wanted to make this a series of relationship posts for some time now. I’m NO relationship expert. I’m not trained. But I do have a lot of relationships that are really important to me and I have learned a thing or two along the way.

While we were on our trip, we had so much time to invest in one another. We talked, we laughed, we connected, and we may have even disagreed once or twice, so we could kiss and make up later. But one of the things that we also talked about were ways we enjoyed connecting. 

I can use our little get away with Sol y Sombra as the basis for this post and some relationship advice, however, in the greater scheme of things, these are things we can do to enrich our marriages any time of day, any time of year, and in any place we are.

Surprise one another.

I know Nino has been stressed out with work, his responsibilities and recent events that have transpired in his family. It hasn’t been an easy go for him, and I thought it would be nice for me to make some secret arrangements for us to invest in our relationship without distraction.

 

The rain couldn’t stop us this morning as we visited a few #Vigan #tourist spots. So happy that @manila.gent planned our little anniversary getaway. #qualitytime #lovehim #18years #crisologomuseum #ilocossur #travel #pinas #pinoytraveler #itsmorefuninthephilippines #instatravel #instamood #instagood #coupletime

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Michelle Aventajado (@mommanmanila) on Aug 8, 2016 at 11:00pm PDT

I planned as much as I could for our recent trip, until I had to tell him that maybe he shouldn’t plan any meeting for later in the week because I would like to go away just the two of us to enrich our relationship. (And work on my tan.)

I think he appreciated the surprise. But I could only keep it a secret so long. I wanted him to be able to prepare for our mini vacay as well.

Ask him how he’s doing. (And really wait to hear the answer.)

So often, I get busy with the kids and forget to check in on my love. I am guilty of pouring myself into everything and anything, so much so that sometimes, I even forget to eat lunch. 

With my own responsibilities of running the household, heading Best Buddies, mounting events, and writing here on the blog, sometimes I forget to ask my husband how his day was. 

Or, I will ask him how his day was and remember I have to start the bread in the bread machine. Or sign the papers on my desk. Or get the kids’ things ready for school the next day. Truth is, I’m always being pulled in so many different directions. 

I may start to talk to Nino, and then get a phone call. Or he may be trying to connect with me and Gelli comes in the room to tell me she needs to go to the bathroom. There are just so many distractions. Don’t get me wrong, my children aren’t distractions…they are my kids, and my responsibility. 

But sometimes, my husband enjoys my undivided attention, too.

During our little get away, we had nothing to distract us. We took the time to indulge in one another. Listen. Talk. Oh my gosh. We were talking without interruption. No one walked into our room with a problem to solve. Our phones weren’t going off with meetings to attend or calls to be answered. 

11947892_870899712994127_782323943574162604_o-copy

Our room was comfy. Well lit. Modern. And had everything we needed to chill out and enjoy each other’s company.

In fact, there was one morning where we actually laid in bed for an hour just catching up with one another. Nothing that was groundbreaking news. We were even just talking about some pretty mundane topics.

But for some reason, it felt like we were being extremely indulgent.

Is that crazy?

Laying around in a comfy bed, cool from the aircon (because I was a little sunburnt) without worrying about what to do next, who had to be changed first thing in the morning, or what events I had to attend that day… 

Even if it was the middle of the week (because that’s how I planned it) it felt like a Slow Down Sunday simply because we could focus on one another. In hindsight, I now see how easy it is for me to be distracted with the kids and my daily responsibilities. As Nino and have started dating each other more, I love even reminiscing with him about the times when we would stay up for hours and even fall asleep on the phone.

Indulge in each other’s interests.

Ok, so building off of the fact that we were able to really focus on one another during this trip, I have come to another conclusion in the past year. While this year was one of the most challenging times in our marriage, out of the bad has to come some good right?

img_4313-copy

Going to #WhiskyLiveManila was not just a fun experience for both of us, it was also an opportunity to hang with @thephenomenalmama ‘s husband @singledram.

I now know how important it is to take an interest in what Nino enjoys doing too. I think the past few months have also allowed him to come to this realization as well.

Simple joys for my husband include going for long drives.

15397601_10154687239141132_296910247_o-copy

Earlier this year, Nino and I drove to Vigan to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary.

Discovering a new single malt. And listening to his new inspiration, Joseph Prince.

 

How do we heat up our #bagnet stash from our recent trip up north? @manila.gent slices it up and we put it in our #Severinph #airfryer at 180C for 15 minutes. If it’s still not crispy enough add a few more minutes till its done to your liking. (I like mine super crispy.) #easypeasy #pinoyfood #inmykitchen #motherswhobrunch #cookingmadeeasy

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Michelle Aventajado (@mommanmanila) on Aug 16, 2016 at 4:39am PDT

Our time together in the kitchen has new meaning because, he enjoys researching and creating a dish I may be craving, and my craving inspires his creativity in the kitchen. Nino knows I enjoy being in the kitchen. He knows I find it therapeutic to create new dishes (or old family favs) for the kids because it’s relaxing for me. Being in the kitchen is comfort for me, and he has decided that he will take an interest in spending more time with me there too.

 

Lunch by @manila.gent: Open Faced Fresh prawn and egg salad with crustacean bisque and chili oil sauce served with corn and avocado salsa. #manilagent #mommanmanila #homemade #brunch #lunch #seafood #sandwich #inmykitchen #instalike #instagood #instacool

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Michelle Aventajado (@mommanmanila) on Aug 13, 2016 at 10:17pm PDT

This makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

And makes my tummy happy.

dscf3253-copy-copy

Thanks to my Instagram Husband for indulging me in my photo shoot on the beach.

It even brings a bigger smile to my face, when I ask my Instagram Husband to indulge me with a photo shoot on the beach. After all, before the children came he did tell me I was his favorite subject to photograph.

Thanks Babe, for all my photos you snapped of me on the beach. I knew you were hot and tired, but you still indulged me snapping away…

Discover new places together.

When Nino and I travel with the kids to the beach, we usually go to the same places for comfort and convenience. The kids enjoy the routine, and we enjoy the service when we go to a place where they have seen our children grow.

However, when it’s just the two of us?

Nino and I love to go on new adventures.

We enjoy trying new places by ourselves. We enjoy the discovery of new joints to eat, to stay, and to bring the kids after we have gotten the lay of the land.

dscf3203-copy

We LOVED this meal at Los Indios Bravos. One of the best restos on the island!

On this recent trip, we not only found a more affordable way to visit Boracay, we also found new places to enjoy the magic hour, and new places to enjoy our favorite foods.

dscf3142-copy

This is the same for the activities we chose for each of the days during our trip. From paddle boarding to sail boating, and island hopping, we enjoyed a more active Boracay lifestyle, this time around.

We took long walks on the beach.

And during those long walks on the beach, we discovered each other again.

Pray together.

This has been a long time coming.

My spirituality is something I have usually been pretty private about. I am vocal about my faith. I am vocal about my gratitude. I am vocal when I am praying for grace.

But for the most part, when I pray and I’m asking for help, I have felt it has always been between me and The Big Guy Up Above.

I have said my prayers in silence.

I envision in my mind’s eye what I am asking God to grant me. It’s not that I never wanted to pray with Nino. It’s just that I never really prayed out loud, save for the prayers we are taught to say in church.

It’s only recently, that I have been able to pray with Nino aloud.

Proudly.

It’s as if I didn’t feel he needed to hear me in my requests of protection and continued health for my him. And, it’s only as of late, that I have been able to voice these requests aloud while holding his hand. 

 

#StillLookingUp with @manila.gent. Loving our little getaway together @solysombraboracay. Nurturing our relationship with His help is one of my favorite things to do. #marriagefirst #boracay #beach #itsmorefuninthephilippines #beautiful #GodsGreatGoodness #sunsurfsand #instatravel #travelgram #instagood #instacool #instagram #instaday #travel #pinoytravel #travelpinas

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Michelle Aventajado (@mommanmanila) on Dec 2, 2016 at 7:33pm PST

There is something pretty powerful in hearing someone pray for you aloud.

Isn’t there?

I think I’m liking this 5 Things kinda Post. I am already brainstorming for the next one…

Thanks to my friend Claudette, Nino and I had a wonderful time connecting, remembering, indulging, and loving on one another. I’m already planning the next time we will go and visit Sol y Sombra. I’m just torn between bringing the kids, or planning another quick get away with my love again…

http://www.solysombraboracay.com/
https://www.facebook.com/solysombra.boracay.hotel/
https://www.instagram.com/solysombraboracay/

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related


« McCormick Palabok by Diego
Lady’s Choice and the Gift of Light »

Comments

  1. Sabrina says

    December 8, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Love everything about this post!!! So glad you were able to do this! This is exactly the break you guys needed!:) xoxo-Sab

    • michelle says

      December 11, 2016 at 10:32 am

      Thanks Sab. Totally. Just what the doctor ordered.

  2. Dolores Cheng says

    December 8, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Mish, thank you for this. It is insightful, inspiring, incomparable food for the soul!!! I bless the day I met you both.

    • michelle says

      December 11, 2016 at 10:32 am

      Thank you Dolores.Thank you so much.

  3. Peter A Ressa says

    December 8, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Love you Michelle Ann!

    • michelle says

      December 11, 2016 at 10:31 am

      Love you too Dad! So Much.

Hello and Welcome!


Hi! Here is where I share my thoughts on yoga, cooking, crafting, raising a special child, exploring, eating, playing, and living in Manila.
READ MORE

You can also say hi or email me at mish@mommanmanila.com

Twitter

Tweets by @mishaventajado

Pinterest

Recent Posts

  • Three Online Courses for Quarantine Learning
  • California Cheese and Beer Pairing
  • Safe Hands at SM Supermalls
  • Menu Planning with Lady’s Choice
  • Father’s Day with Sinfully at Home

Archives

Categories

Recent Comments

  • Peter A. Ressa on Inay Ko Po
  • michelle on 4 Ways to Cope with Enhanced Community Quarantine
  • Marycor Valencia on 4 Ways to Cope with Enhanced Community Quarantine
  • michelle on Dear 20 Year Old You
  • Liz on Dear 20 Year Old You

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @mommanmanila

mommanmanila

In honor of #NationalSiblingDay... • • • • In honor of #NationalSiblingDay...
•
•
•
•
#sibs #siblings #brother #sisters #love #family #ressagirls #fierce #familyfirst #teamgellibean #mytribe #ilovethem
Excited to be part of this international gathering Excited to be part of this international gathering of women! @strongertogetherevent is less than a two days away! Mommas from all over the globe will gather for some #RealTalk. We will open up to share struggles and triumphs with other mommas through candid conversations where participants can get real answers to their questions about this crazy ride that we call motherhood. There is strength in numbers ladies!!! Sometimes all we need is to hear someone else’s story to know we are on the right path. Sometimes we just need to hear someone else’s story to know that we are not alone in our frustration, our fears, and the smallest of victories. 
•
•
Swipe left to see the schedule and the speakers, the healing modalities, and informational sessions on how to find your groove as a momma of a kid who may be extra. If you want to purchase your ticket, click the link in my profile and use the code MISH (case sensitive) for a $5 discount!
•
•
#Motherhood ain’t easy, but when we gather, the load is lighter. Even as women we are  #MoreAlikeThanDifferent. 
•
•
This conference will include mommas with podcasts, mommas who have written books, shared their truths, walked together and walked alone. #YouCanSitWithUs too. 
•
•
•
•
I’m so pleased to announce the mommas who will get to attend this conference with me! 
•
•
Thank you @sineadquinnofficial @justwhenyouthinkshesdown and @elle.frazzetta for making magic happen for the following mommas:
@akiko.guevara 
@trishcc 
@tatumi.ph 
@treyjav 
@jmieliz 
@momofhyperkids 
@ricamatajean 
@mommyloiscorner
No school yesterday, means pajamas all day at Nina No school yesterday, means pajamas all day at Ninang’s place. I haven’t had the mind to work at all. I lost one of my sorority sisters earlier this week, and someone very dear to our family yesterday morning. I have been doing my best to focus on this little one, keeping her busy, and having mindful conversation with her. Reminding myself to stay present and grateful through this overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. I find myself having these little conversations through out the day with Jesus. Thanking Him for His sacrifice, and for the most meaningful Easter, I have had in a long time. I try not to question the loss and the pain that I know so many of our friends and family are suffering. But I’m human, and well, no one looks forward to loss 😔
•
•
•
I keep coming back to the idea that there is purpose to the pain God allows for us. And the promise of something beautiful when we have lived a life where we do all we can, for His Glory. In this conversation I had with a Friend late last night, I shared this newfound understanding that recent events provided for me. It is through all of this loss that I have learned how grief and gratitude can both lighten and anchor my heart at the same time. That I can be grateful to have experienced the gifts of friendship and sisterhood yet grieving the loss of a human being who was luminous, generous, and Godly in everything she did. 
•
•
•
And this little girl reminds me. Reminds me of His Grace. Of how precious each moment is. And how when she sees us full of sorrow, that we may need to dance. And we did that. We danced. We danced for @faithoverfearheal, prayed for everyone who has suffered loss in this very difficult season, and thanked Him for His Grace and His Love. 
•
•
Grief
Gratiude
Grace
Love
•
•
•
•
Even through the tremendous loss, I am reminded that God has a plan. And that there is a circle of life. Gelli and I celebrate Savi’s first birthday with his giveaway craft from @antspocketph that @sinfullysabrina sent out last month. We crafted, celebrated, and were able to remain thankful even through the most difficult of times. 🙏🏻🌹💙💛
•
•
•
#gritandgrace #love #HisPromise #faith #Jesus #ThankYouJesus #loss
I have been so blessed by friends that share their I have been so blessed by friends that share their talents with me. I have never been so talented with paint or the arts, but I can appreciate all the work that goes into honing these skills. Especially, when it reminds me of the reason why I started blogging almost 9 years ago. Thank you @gingdsantos for this #Bespoke #Watercolor #Painting. I am humbled by your gift and the thoughtful note you scribed. This is such a beautiful representation of me and my beautiful @gelliaventajado. 
•
•
•
•
Good Morning IG Peeps! Happy Hump Day! What’s on your list to check off today? 
•
•
•
•
#gellibean #artwork #bespoke #gingsantosart  #beautiful #motherhood #special #upsyndrome #aintnothingdownaboutit #love #momma #momlife #mywhy #moveph #friendship #watercolor #watercolorpainting #watercolorart
Remembering last week’s brunch that we enjoyed w Remembering last week’s brunch that we enjoyed while watching worship service. Pinwheel sausage from @santisdelicatessen @usblueberriesphl @realcaliforniamilkphl cheese @bountyfreshph eggs salted pretzels from @lartizan @hummingbirdspreads and @ilovewhisk jam was perfect with our ciabatta too. And because I realize that alcohol has been affecting my digestion lately, we switched over to a little sparkling @welchs_ph to add to our meal. 
•
•
•
•
Brunch is by far my most favorite meal. We can put anything on the table and it works. What did you serve on Sunday? Did you order in? Did you bake? Cook? Grill? Share your favorite finds with me?
•
•
•
•
#lovelocal #brunch #brekkie #food #goodfood #fruit #easy #addeggs #delicious #lunch #imhungry
********GIVEAWAY ALERT*********** Read all the way ********GIVEAWAY ALERT***********
Read all the way to the END!!!
•
•
•
@strongertogetherevent is a gathering of women from all around the globe sharing the triumphs and trials of their very special motherhood. We will come together because we know there is strength in numbers, in sharing, and how our stories are intertwined and intersectional. The raw gritty parts of motherhood, burnout, and the mountains we face can only be faced with our faith and women by are side who really “get” where we sit, stand, and fight for our children. Women who know that we sometimes struggle to own our own identities, and self care, too. Want to join the LIVE conversation? 
•
•
•
•
All you have to do is:
1) Follow @strongertogetherevent 
2) Tag a momma who you know who you know needs this. (You can tag more than one.) 
3) Extra Points for sharing this post on stories and tagging @mommanmanila @strongertogetherevent @justwhenyouthinkshesdown @sineadquinnofficial 
•
•
•
•
Up for grabs is a total of 8 tickets to attend the LIVE event which will include panel discussions, talks from celebrated authors, and advocates in the differently abled community!!!!!There will be healing sessions, yoga classes, and talks on wellness and self care to help us navigate our motherhood in current times. I will announce the two winners on Friday, April 9th! Good Luck!!!
Thank you @elle.frazzetta for sponsoring an extra ticket when you purchased your own!!!
Naked Sea Salt Chocolate Cake by @gi.aventajado fo Naked Sea Salt Chocolate Cake by @gi.aventajado for Easter Sunday. She has perfected this delicious recipe. From tweaking the cake to mastering the ganache, I think she has it down right perfect! 👌🏻❤️🍫
•
•
•
•
#chocolatecake #cake #dessert #sweet #sweettreat #delicious #onmytable #chocolate #gavinosph #homemade #homebaker
Struffoli. • • • • Little chewy round bal Struffoli. 
•
•
•
•
Little chewy round balls of fried dough coated in honey and rolled out with a hint of citrus, generously topped with rainbow non-perils.
•
•
•
•
This sweet tower of dough would always come out after Christmas and Easter dinner with the Sambuca or the Grappa, when I was growing up. My mother’s table would have ham and Turkey, stuffing and pasta, eggplant and sweet potatoes. We would celebrate Easter Sunday together with my Titas and Titos, my Nana and my Lola, and all my cousins. My Dad would take his place at the head of the dining room table which was extended into the living room by saw horses and a make shift table top that he built for family gatherings when we had overflow. 
•
•
•
•
Our gatherings are smaller now. But they are filled with so much more meaning. I was able to rest. Spend time in the kitchen with my best girls, break bread with my sister, face time my parents, and #BingeJesus by watching @thechosentvseries all afternoon with @manila.gent. 
•
•
•
•
Happy Resurrection Day!
Christ is Risen!
•
•
•
•
#eastersunday #easter #italianamerican #italian #dessert #sweet #sweettreat #struffoli #frieddough #dough #honey #honeyballs
This is my Team. We are not perfect. But we belong This is my Team. We are not perfect. But we belong to each other. Thank you Lord for making it so. There are so many things happening in this world right now, that may not make sense without our faith. 
•
•
•
•
Loss. Suffering. Pain. Sickness. And as the realities of the pandemic are giving us so many more reasons to be thankful, I am clinging to His promise. His Love. And the understanding that He has plans for us. So we will do our part, stay safe, and take this time to reflect while giving thanks, and being mindful. 
•
•
•
•
Holy Week has never been so full of reflection as it is for me now. Praying for my friends, my family, our frontliners, and all of those affected by COVID19. 
•
•
•
•
Perhaps the wisdom that comes with age and life experience in your faith, involves knowing and understanding that the extreme emotions of pain and loss, grieving and gratitude, joy and happiness CAN exist in the human heart all at the same time. Not taking any of His gifts for granted. 🙌🏻
•
•
•
•
#latepost #family #teamgellibean #familyfirst #giamynina #miggymange #jbirdicusprime #gellibean #manilagent #mommanmanila
@bountyfreshph Chicken Fingers and Honey Mustard D @bountyfreshph Chicken Fingers and Honey Mustard Dip made by @migaventajado with ingredients care of our #Easter #Basket from @momzillaph. As March is coming to a close, I am thankful for all the women I have met because I started blogging who are passionate in their purpose. I am thankful for Best Buddies and the successful month of awareness activities we mounted with partners who believe in what we do. And I am thankful that my family is safe and sound. Stay safe IG Peeps. Stay Home. Stay grateful. 
•
•
•
•
Praying for all of our friends and family who are struggling with this virus right now. My heart is breaking but I know we have a Big and Mighty God. He can move mountains. Make miracles. And raise Jesus from the dead.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 · Blog Design by Fancy Girl Design Studio

Copyright © 2021 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in